When I first saw this I found it so funny. Every parent I show it to finds it funny.

The toddler rules of possession

1. If I like it – it’s mine.
2. If it’s in my hand – it’s mine.
3. If I can take it from you – it’s mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago – it’s mine.
5. If it’s mine, it must never appear to be yours in ANY way.
6. If I am doing or building something ALL the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine it is mine.
8. If I saw it first – it’s mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it’s broken, it’s yours.
11. If it’s broken, but you are having fun playing with the pieces, it’s mine again.
12. If there is ANY doubt, it’s mine.
    (Kevin McHugh)

Are all toddlers this predictable? Do they all find it almost impossible to share? Um yes, I think so.

It’s mine!

“Mine” is often one of the first words a toddler REALLY gets to grip with. They use it often and really mean it. They don’t understand sharing, they want something so why shouldn’t they have it? It’s a hard lesson to learn and seems to be much harder for single children than those with siblings; where older children will force them to share! (often not in a nice way). A toddler is constantly learning that they are not totally inseparable from you and asserting their independence and personality.

It’s hard for us as parents to see our children changing from baby to child, no longer totally dependent and compliant in everything, but it must be very frustrating for the child. They don’t know the rules yet, they don’t know how to behave, they only know what they like and don’t like, what they want and don’t want.

My advice is try and calmly explain that they need to take turns, that they CAN have the toy back soon. Try to understand how they are thinking and how they see the situation.

The “mine” stage seems to last forever, and changes to “BUT IT”S MINE!” the frustration and confusion stays too. Ownership and sharing is a hard lesson to learn. Some adults still haven’t got the hang of it so why do we expect a toddler to hand over their toys and snacks willingly?

There is a game in our house which has truly stood the test of time. I played it as a child, hubby played it as a child – I think everyone has (well everyone who has parents that let children climb all over the furniture!).

Get your child to help you make an obstacle course out of chairs, tables, towels, cushions to name but a few.

Ideas:

• Make a ‘tunnel’ by putting dining chairs in a row, you child can then crawl though the legs. Make the tunnel more exciting by placing a blanket over the chairs.
• Make stepping stones out of cushions on the floor, and get them to jump from one to another.
• Roll a large towel up longways and use it as a balancing beam.
• Tie a cord between two chairs so children can ‘limbo’ or crawl underneath it.
• Our son likes placing chairs, cushions,blankets and so on from one end of the house to the other, and tries to get from the start to the finish without touching the floor (the floor is the sea and you will get wet if you touch the carpet!)

You can make the obstacle course more interesting by seeing how fast they can get from one end to the other. Older children need more of a challenge, see if they can do it while balancing a beanbag on their head.

Always supervise children when playing this game and keep and eye out for safety issues. (Make sure they cannot fall and hurt themselves, or knock your favourite ornament off a shelf)

Ok, as promised in my last post Lunch Box food for primary school children I am going to see if I can get my son to eat Mackerel sandwiches. Wish me luck!…

I’m gonna do a test, my son will NOT eat smoked mackerel. He did as a toddler, it was a food he loved. However, these days at the grand old age of 5, he won’t touch it – “IT’S DISGUSTING!” is the response I get from him if I make such an offering!. The School Food Trust have suggested a recipe for smoked mackerel. I am going to try making it and trying it out on my son. I think it sounds delicious – we’ll see!

Here’s the recipe:

Smoked Mackerel Spread

Ingredients

• Smoked mackerel 70g
• Lemon juice  1 teaspoon
• Parsley, fresh chopped – 3 sprigs
• Yogurt, plain, low fat – 30g
• Ground black pepper

Method

• Remove the skin from the mackerel and put the flesh into a small bowl. Remove any remaining bones.
• Add the lemon juice, parsley and yoghurt. Mash together to a rough paste with a fork, or use a blender.
• Season with black pepper. Cover and refrigerate.

I gathered the ingredients and asked 5yo if he would like to help make lunch. Normally being a budding Jamie Oliver he jumps at the chance of cooking, however he thought the smoked mackerel smelt “DISGUSTING”. I have to agree there – mackerel does not have the best smell in the world.

So off I trundled, alone, to make lunch. I stuck to the recipe and resisted the urge to “test” the fish paste.

I did add sliced cucumber. 5yo is crazy about cucumber, so I thought this might make the difference.

Right better hurry up with the taste test – the cat is looking very hungry and licking her lips!

Hubby: “Tasty, I would have it again.” – man of few words

Me: “Very strong tasting, but I quite like smoked mackerel anyway. I would add more lemon juice and more parsley, and maybe some sliced tomato and spinach leaves.”

5yo: “Yeeeeeuck. THAT’S DISGUUUUUUUSSSSTING.” In very loud voice.

Didn’t go down well then!

He is not adverse to “disgusting” food. He likes his fish fingers dipped in milkshake. He thinks jam on his ham sandwiches is fab – maybe that is just because jam and ham rhyme though. However, he likes blander food, mackerel is just too smelly and too strong tasting. Back to the drawing board School Food Trust!

New guidelines have been released from the School Food Trust, aimed at reducing obesity in children.

They offer advice on what food youngsters should eat an help for fussy eaters. The report says more than a fifth of children are overweight or obese when they start school. We can’t agree more that eating the right food, right from the start is essential. That watching their salt, sugar and saturated fat content is crucial to their health, however we do question their lunchbox ‘menus’.

I know my son, would not touch some of their suggestions. How many children like tomatoes – I don’t know any!

Their advice on eating fruit vegetables and a varied healthy diet is great, many parents worry how they can do this properly on a tight budget though.

I’m gonna do a test, my son will NOT eat smoked mackerel. He did as a toddler, it was a food he loved. However, these days at the grand old age of 5, he won’t touch it – “IT’S DISGUSTING!” is the response I get from him if I make such an offering!. The School Food Trust have suggested a recipe for smoked mackerel. I am going to try making it and trying it out on my son. I think it sounds delicious – we’ll see!

Here’s the recipe:

Smoked Mackerel Spread

Ingredients

• Smoked mackerel 70g
• Lemon juice  1 teaspoon
• Parsley, fresh chopped – 3 sprigs
• Yogurt, plain, low fat – 30g
• Ground black pepper

Method

• Remove the skin from the mackerel and put the flesh into a small bowl. Remove any remaining bones.
• Add the lemon juice, parsley and yoghurt. Mash together to a rough paste with a fork, or use a blender.
• Season with black pepper. Cover and refrigerate.

Right, check out my next post to see how well it goes down!

Smoked mackerel sandwiches – do kids like them?

With the post Christmas weather being so windy, you might be looking for indoor activities, and here is a good one to try out. Making a jigsaw out of a colourful picture taken from a magazine.

Here’s what you do:

You will need:

• scissors
• colouring pens (if the picture needs colouring in),
• cardboard (an empty cereal packet, or cardboard from a Christmas present is ideal)
• glue
• a colourful picture from a magazine

First of all, colour in the picture if needed, this one was ideal and it makes the finished puzzle even better if your child colours the picture in first. I find using his magazines is best, as then the finished picture is of one of his favourite TV characters.

Next glue your picture onto the cardboard, and cut out jigsaw shapes to make your puzzle. Depending on the age of your child, they may need help with this bit, you can draw the puzzle shapes on the cardboard side to help them with the cutting.

Once you have cut your picture into jigsaw type pieces you are ready to start playing! How quickly can you make the puzzle back into the picture?

Recommended age for this activity: from age 2, depending on your child.

Using scissors and colouring in, helps strengthen your child’s fingers, which will help them when they are learning to write.

You can use any pictures from magazines and a great alternative is to use a photo. Kids love to make jigsaws of themselves or a pet or their family. You don’t need to use a real photo, you can photocopy one (and make it bigger).

It’s not often I see something from the Government and I think – now that’s a great idea….
But…. the Healthy Start scheme really does deserve a heads up. I had not heard of it, and I wonder how many women that qualify are not told about it.

Basically, it is a scheme where some women (in the UK) can get free fruit, vegetables, milk and vitamins. If you are pregnant, have children under 4 and receive certain benefits you should qualify.

What you can get:

• liquid cow’s milk
• plain fresh and frozen fruit
• plain fresh and frozen vegetables
• infant formula milk

All you need to do is fill in the application form, and get signed by your registered midwife, nurse or medical practitioner.

Sounds like a good idea to me!

They say you can never start reading to your child too early. I have to agree with this. As soon as our baby was born, we gathered all the old Ladybird books from charity shops. All the traditional fairy tales I remember from when I was young.

It was great for me, reading stories I had half forgotten, half remembered. I think some had changed though, become more PC. I remember in the Gingerbread Man, the fox was much more violent and hungry! Maybe that was the way I remember it.

My baby liked sitting on my lap listening to my voice and looking at the pictures. He would be quiet and relaxed at the sound of my voice.

As he grew older, books stopped being a source of fun for him. Being boisterous and running about was much more important to him. It didn’t matter. Forcing him to sit down with a book would put him off reading for a long time.

Now he is 4 he has started to love books again. His command of words and his understanding of the stories make books fascinating to him. You can see by his face that he is absorbing every detail. He wants to be assured that the stories aren’t real. That Mr Tidy and Mr Neat (from Mr Messy of the Mr. Men) won’t come and tidy him up!

I have found that reading helps to establish a good routine. I read stories to him at bedtime. This gets him calm and ready for sleep after a day of running about and shouting. It is a good bonding time too. Just me and him, snuggled up reading a good book.

I love the books that he loves. His favourites at the moment are the Mr. Men series. He has the library of them, and loves to check which number the book is first, and count up to that number.

They were favourites of mine as a child too.

Some of his favourite books:

A Lark in the Ark: A Loopy Lift-the-flap Book

“My children love lift the flap books so I bought this purely because it says it has over 25. However, in addition to that it is actually a great book, the story is an easy to read rhyme about a game of hide and seek which is funny and illustrated beautifully.
I enjoy reading this book as much as my kids enjoy listening to it.” (Amazon review)

The Mr. Men Collection

“Have to say this is one of the best things I’ve ever bought for my son given the vast amount of time value he gets out of it. He enjoys going through the books looking at all of the pictures before he carefully decides which one I actually have to read. The stories are all very fun and have a bit of a teaching process as well – Mr happy always comes out on top whereas characters like Mr Mean and Mr Grumpy see the error of their ways and change to become good.
An expensive initial outlay as Childrens books go but well worth it in my opinion as your kids will just come back over and over to these books.” (Amazon review)

Harry and the Dinosaurs and the Bucketful of Stories

“This is a great story with lovely crisp clear pictures. Harry finds dinosaurs in Nan’s attic and lovingly rehouses them in a bucket. He learns all their names and they become inseparable. He’s very upset therefore to leave them on a train but is happily reunited at the end-osaurus. This is the beginning of the successful series of Harry and the dinosaur adventures, and my children and I love them all. I do think that the ‘Harry and the bucketful of dinosaurs’ series is a slightly acquired taste, a taste that’s very definitely worth acquiring. I wasn’t hooked the first time I picked one up because there is a little low-level misbehaviour such as the brother-sister squabbling. However, the more you read the book the more you enjoy it exactly because of this: Harry is so real in a pretty normal family (Mum & Nan – there’s no Dad in evidence). My children certainly appreciate this. They love it when Harry’s breakfast bowl ends up on sister Sam’s head in this story, for example, before he is sent to ’settle down’. Plus, from this book they’re learning the different dinosaur species and how to pronounce their names. A must-have book for the 2-5s.” (Amazon review)

Anyone who read My Child is Scared of Dogs will know just how much my 4yo was terrified by our canine friends. You can not imagine my joy then when he STROKED a dog in nursery when the Dogs Trust came in with Sebastian.

Angela from the Dogs Trust explained to the children, about caring for dogs, and most importantly what to do if you see a dog and are scared! She showed the children what to do. I didn’t realise quite how seriously my son was taking it, and how carefully he was listening.

Just imagine this morning on the way to nursery, when we spotted a HUGE dog in the distance. Instead of screaming and jumping up in my arms. 4yo CALMLY got off his bike, put his arms across his chest and looked away. We waited a while for the dog to pass. The dog took it’s time, 4yo just stood there like a soldier. My brave soldier. The event was drama free.

4yo was so pleased. I was so pleased. I can’t thank the Dogs Trust enough.

Here is the advice we were given.

Stay calm – no screaming shouting or waving your arms

Cross your arms over your chest

Look away

This way the dog will know YOU DO NOT WANT TO PLAY

I must say – it worked brilliantly this morning!

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Is your child scared of any animals?

Please let me know what you do to help your child…

Is your child’s nursery taking part in the Rhyme Challenge – ours is. A great idea it is too.

The Rhyme Challenge is an exciting idea from Booktrust, the National reading charity, to encourage a love of rhymes and early poetry. The Rhyme Challenge will involve your child learning rhymes with their friends at nursery and sharing them with all the family at home.

You may remember some of the rhymes from your own childhood.
The great thing about rhymes is that you can sing them anywhere; you don’t need any musical equipment, just a few minutes a day enjoying rhymes with your child!

The Rhyme Challenge runs throughout the year and here are the rhymes for 2010

Twinkle Twinkle
Incey Wincey Spider
Round and Round the Garden
Baa, Baa, Black Sheep
The Grand Old Duke of York
If You’re Happy & You Know It
Humpty Dumpty
This Little Piggy
Ring-a-ring o’roses
I’m a Little Teapot

The children are awarded a special certificate if they can learn the nursery rhymes.

Rhymes help children feel confident with words and will also help them later on when they begin to read.

A great idea, and my son is certainly enjoying his rhymes. Mind you the words he is singing are not the usual ones – he seems to think short cuts make the poems better, and changing the words makes them funnier! I don’t mind.

Happy rhyming!

Another favourite nursery rhyme. The cries of ‘again again’ are always heard after this one!

However I think I am getting too old to sit on the floor, pretending to row row row!

Row row row your boat words

Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.

It has been suggested that the words refer to the difficulties of life.  The rowing boat refers to the person travelling in a set direction. Merrily merrily refering to facing life with cheer. Then the conclusion being life is anything but a dream. Like many nursery rhymes – it is not a happy tale!

Row row row your boat is usually sung ‘in the round’. This is where each person or group of people sing the same words and melody, but start at different times.

I especially like the alternative verses of this rhyme that I’ve heard – there are many but these are my favourite ones:

Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the river.
If you see a polar bear;
Don’t forget to shiver.

and

Row, row, row your boat,
Row another mile.
If you see a crocodile;
Don’t forget to smile.

Finally here is a version of the song, sung complete with lyrics!

Great value Nursery Rhmes DVD’s for your child.