Your newborn has spent the last 9 months inside you, in the dark, in water, with strange echoey noises all around them. Then after a stressful time getting born, they find themselves in a whole new world.

The world as they knew it has changed forever.

If you think you and your partner are bewildered when you bring your newborn home for the 1st time – spare a thought for what the baby is going through. It takes time for you to adjust, and so it will for your baby too. OK you both may take to your new worlds like ducks to water, but it may just take a little time.

So what can you do make those 1st few days that bit easier?

The 1st bit of advice lasts for their whole lives and is sometimes quite hard to do:

Stay calm!

If you are stressed, your child will pick up on it. Take as much time as you can to chill out, put your feet up, and take a deep breath.

Talk, read and sing
Your baby will know your voice – they have been listening to it from your womb for weeks. They will find your voice soothing and calming. Talk to your baby, sing to them lullabies (or any song will do). Reading to your newborn is a good way of bonding with and calming your baby. It doesn’t have to be kids stories, you can read a novel or the newspaper. It’s the tone of your voice that is important. Keep it calm and soothing.

Cuddles and touch
Cuddling your new baby has to be one of the greatest joys of motherhood (or fatherhood). You really can’t cuddle them enough. It’s calming and soothing for you both. Your baby will love feeling secure and close to you, and will get comfort from hearing the rhythm of your heartbeat. Remember they will have had your heartbeat soothing them in the womb.

When you are drying your baby after a bath, stroke their arms and legs, and gently rub their back. Book yourselves into a baby massage class and learn how you can help relieve colic and constipation with simple massage techniques that will help you to bond with your baby and be calming for you both.

When your baby cries
Your newborn only knows one form of communication. When they want attention they will cry.  Don’t expect that you will understand every cry straight away – why should you? In time you will learn when cries mean “I’m hungry” or “I’m tired” or “My tummy hurts” or just “I want a cuddle”

So don’t be afraid of going to your baby when they cry. At first you have to get to know one another. You will know when it is time to leave them for a while.

You may feel out of your depth when you first bring home baby, but don’t worry – we all do. It will take time for you and your baby to adjust to your new lives. Let it happen naturally, and don’t worry.

16 tips for a 1st time mum by a 1st time mum – to help you make the most of your baby

Don’t worry about being a Supermum
You don’t have to get everything right all of the time. Your baby won’t notice, and neither should you.  You won’t be an expert straight away, but you will get better. Just remember you didn’t pass your driving test without taking lessons, and you didn’t get good at swimming without lots and lots of practice. Why should your baby be any different? Babies don’t come with a manual, and you don’t have to pass an exam before you get one.

Suddenly everyone is a baby expert
Take on board what you want to, listen to advice – it can be invaluable. But, no two babies are the same, and while advice is given with the best possible intentions – something that worked for one mum or one baby might not work for you or your baby – only you knows what is best for your baby. Sometimes you have to trust your instincts.

Bonding with your new baby
After labour, many mums are exhausted, and it’s no wonder that they don’t fall in love with their baby straight away. What they want is lots of sleep! Any relationship builds and gets better with time. It could take a day, a week, or longer. You have just been though a very physically demanding labour, you need recovery time. Don’t expect things to be wonderful straight away and all of the time. Don’t put pressure on yourself to feel something you don’t. It won’t be long and you’ll look into your baby’s eyes and feel a love you never felt before.

If things are getting tough, get help.
Talk to family, friends, your Doctor. No one is going to judge you. Everyone just wants to help you. It is a sign of strength not weakness to ask for help.

Talk to other Mums.
To know how other new mums are feeling will help you. You can get advice, support, tips, and a good chat from someone who is going through the same as you. Try the internet, mother and baby groups, your post-natal clinic. Even a mum who you are chatting to in the queue at the supermarket can brighten up your day and help you feel that you are not the only one.

Rest whenever you can.
Babies are tiring. You won’t be able to give your best to your baby if you are shattered all of the time. Sleep when she sleeps. Take advantage of your mum coming round – let her baby-sit and take a nap.

Forget the housework.
This is my favourite tip! Your baby won’t appreciate it if her t-shirt was ironed but she will appreciate a cuddle. Do what needs to be done around the house, and no more. This time with your baby is precious and will pass so quickly – don’t waste time on the ironing or the dusting!

Accept help
If people offer help – take it. It doesn’t mean they think you are doing a bad job or are not coping – they just know your job is the toughest one in the world. They wouldn’t offer if they didn’t want to help

Start as you mean to go on
Your baby will soon learn that you are no pushover, or will run rings around you. Attending to her every whim is easy when she is little – but judge when the time is right when it is good to say “No”.

Baby-free activities

Give yourself some “me” time. You are the most important person in your baby’s world, and you need to be happy.  When she is safe in her crib, try these baby free activities. Remember , just 5 minutes can make all the difference.

• Listen to your favourite tunes or some chill-out music.
• Put your feet up with a cup of coffee and read a non baby magazine.
• Order takeaways – ok, so it’s not the healthiest option but now and again it’s nice not to have to cook.
• Write a diary, blog, or start that novel you’ve always wanted to write. You only have to do a small amount a day.
• Surf the internet – stick to non baby sites (except this one of course!)
• Make your partner a CD of his favourite tunes.

Make life easier

• Don’t hike up and down the stairs unnecessarily with your baby
• Keep a changing mat and nappy stuff upstairs and downstairs. Have a moses basket in the living room for naps, and a crib upstairs for night time.

Get out of the house.
Sometimes you can feel stir crazy. Sometimes anything seems better than sitting at home with a baby all day every day watching daytime TV. Go to the park, the shops, see friends.

Remember Dad
He is new at this too, and probably just as bewildered as you are. You are the best support for each other – but only if you both talk about what you are feeling. Don’t let him get pushed out by the new love in your life. (No matter how gorgeous your new little one is!)

Visitors
People want to come and see you and your new baby, but does it matter if they come this week or next? Visitors can be exhausting and stressful, stagger your visitors. Tell them when they can visit not the other way round. When they are in your house you don’t have to be the perfect hostess. Point to the kitchen and say “You know where the kettle is, help yourself, oh and mine’s a coffee, milk and 1 sugar please.”  Most people are happy to help! Some folk are glad to be useful.

Save your pennies, don’t waste them
Babies grow very fast. It is very tempting to try and get your youngster new clothes and toys. After all they are so precious and deserve the best. Yet, as soon as they fit something then it is too small for them. They don’t care if their clothes, toys or nursery furniture is new or second hand. As long as it is safe and clean – you can’t even tell, and it’ll save you a bundle! If a baby wears something for 2 months – it is hardly worn out!

Most important tip…..

Enjoy the cuddles while you can, and enjoy your baby. You’ll never get this time again.