Every time I watch it, it makes me laugh so much. She sings about  the ‘joys’ of childbirth, in a way that is true yet is funny. You may have seen it before, but you never tire of watching a classic again!

Childbirth Song lyrics

You’ve bags under your eyes
You’ve got boobs to your knees
Your hand’s full of poo and your bra’s full of cheese
Your stomach is bloated your clothes do not fit
He still wants sex while you feel like shit
He begs for this favour not long after labour
It’s like eating a meal after you’ve just been sick

And the boys at the office tell him I should give him what he wants
To this I say that they’re a bunch of lalalalalalala

You bastard you cocked up it’s you got me knocked up
Just cos you want me to have bigger tits
You’re pleading, you’re pining
Oh please stop your whining
You’re not getting sex ’til the kid’s 26

You say you want another child, another pregnancy
When you can poo a watermelon I’ll agree

I could have been someone if you just hadn’t come (along)
If I hadn’t been so drunk and I’d said maybe
We’d be going out and stuff, now there’s foreceps up my chuff
Pulling the head of a screaming 10lb baby

And the mums on Hornby Island* say keep breast feeding ’til they’re four
If I do I won’t have nipples anymore

And all the doctors told me that I’d need a stitch or ten
I say sew me up so I can’t do this again.

*an island nearby with a reputation for being very wholesome!

It’s a parody written by Helen Austin and performed at Voices Three 2007, a concert that raised $3000 for the Hospice

Some things to think about:

• 1st and most important. Do YOU want to be pregnant?
• Do you think he will be supportive and happy, or scared and unsupportive?
• Do you think he will need time to get used to the idea?
• Is there a friend he can talk to about it? Someone who is a Dad would be a good idea.
• Put yourself in his shoes. Will it be a total shock to him that you are pregnant?
• Have you ever discussed having children together?
• Your age, the strength of your relationship and your personal circumstances are important.

When to tell him you are pregnant

• Pregnancy lasts 9 months, but the sooner you find out, the sooner you should tell him. But don’t rush in – think about what you are going to say 1st. This is an important moment for him as well as you.

How to tell him you are pregnant

• Face to face is a good idea. He can see your reaction, and more importantly – you can see his!
• Don’t tell him when other people are around. This is a private moment between the 2 of you.
• You could tell him you think you might be pregnant, and do the test together.

Pregnancy test

Doing a pregnancy test too early can give you a negative result when you are actually pregnant. They all seem to work pretty much the same, you wee on the end of the stick, then wait for a couple of minutes. Those minutes can last a lifetime though!

I really didn’t believe the test as the line was very feint, so I took several more. They all said the same. My Doctor said it didn’t matter how feint the line was, if there is a line, no matter how feint – you are pregnant.

Of course,  pregnancy tests are not 100% accurate, a urine test sent off to the hospital by your GP will tell you for sure.

Online Mum chats to first time dad Dan. He has a young son and lives with his partner. I wanted to know how he felt about becoming a dad for the first time. Was he scared or happy did he worry or just breeze through his partners pregnancy?

Are you a Dad?

How did you feel when your partner was pregnant?

Let us know…

Transcript of the chat with Dan about his partner being pregnant

Jane: Hi thanks for listening in today. Today we are going to be chatting to a first time Dad  about pregnancy.

So, hi Dan, I’d like to first ask you about when you first found out you were going to become a  Dad, from that pregnancy test moment, and finding out your partner was going to have a baby.  What was going though your head,how did you feel?

Dan: I was the person who suggested that she took the pregnancy test, so we were both quite  excited. I remember after the pregnancy test, we got this very faint blue line, very faint,  fainter than what I expected it to look like. And even then, even though it showed a faint line,  I didn’t know 100% that it was definately, that she was definately pregnant.So we needed it  confirming by a Doctor a couple of days later.

Jane: And I presume she confirmed it.

Dan: She did, she confirmed it. we got a sample sent off to the hospital, and then they rang us  up a couple of days later and told us the news.

Jane: Briliant. So would you say your strongest emotion was excitement?

Dan: I was excited, because we were trying for a baby.But at the same time I was still scared.  Its a bit like, when that thing happens that you want, and you realise that it is true, you  become full of different feelings. Anxiety, nerves and then I was thinking “Im not ready to be a Dad” “Can I cope with being a Dad”

Jane: Did you go to books or the internet, or other Dads that you knew and talk to them?

Dan: Yes, one Dad’s advice was “Prepare for your house to be full of primary coloured plastic”  Which I think is very good advice. But on the internet, I think that sometimes, looking into  things too much gave me too many things to worry about.

Because there are a lot of complications  during pregnancy that I had never even thought about, and I would read these on the internet,  and it would scare me, and then I wouldn’t be able to tell my other half, the things that were  going on inside my head that I had just read on the internet.

Jane: That’s interesting, that finding out too much was making you more nervous. You would think  it would reassure you.

Dan: No, I didn’t realise all the things that could go wrong.I wish now, I hadn’t looked at all  different pregnancy websites, and I wish that I’d have just looked at good advice on good  websites (such as your own)

Jane: Thank you. My next question is about, as the pregnancy was getting further along, did you  feel pushed out? Because your partner was getting all the attention and it was all happening to  her. Did you feel that you weren’t part of the pregnancy anymore?

Dan: Yes, but I didn’t say anything! Yes, I did but, I know that pregnancy totally revolves  around the woman. But I felt as if I wanted to do the right balance. I didn’t want to do too  much that I was suffocating her and covering her in cotton wool. But at the same time, I needed  her to know that I was there for her every step of the way, and that I was happy to do anything  that she needed doing during the pregnancy.

Jane: Did you feel that you needed a more defined role as the future parent, and there were  certain tasks that you had to do, as potential father, well father to be.

Dan: Yeah, I think that, there are no books out there, that basically say “This is how to behave  when your other half is pregnant. I don’t think I would have read it if there was such a book.

I  think it depends on the persons individual relationship, how they are together and how they work  together. Like we worked quite well together, as a team.

I remember, when she started getting  big, she needed a hand putting her socks on. So that was something that I could do to help. And  her back was getting sore, so sometimes I’d massage her back because she’d get back pains. So it  helped that she was able to ask me for little things that she needed help with, but I was  willing to do anything.

Jane: Great, one final quick question. Did everything work out fine in the end?

Dan: It did thank you.

Jane: And you ended up with, was it a boy or girl?

Dan: We ended uo with a beautiful little baby boy.

Jane: Fantastic! Thanks for your time Dan.

Dan: Thank you.

Flying when pregnant

• The safest time to fly is after 12 and before 25 weeks. (The 2nd second trimester)
• After 25 weeks (third trimester) there is a risk of an increase in blood pressure as well as the chance of giving birth prematurely. Every pregnancy is different so please discuss any concern you have with your doctor.

Tips for while you are in the air

• Wear DVT socks. This is good advice for everyone not just pregnant women. Wearing DVT socks can help prevent blood clots which can be life threatening if they reach your lungs.
• Keep well-hydrated, pregnant women are very susceptible to dehydration. Make sure you have a bottle of water with you.
• On long hauls get up and walk around at least every hour to help your circulation.
• Wear sandals or shoes with adjustable straps in case your feet swell.
• Wear loose, comfortable clothing.
• Rest as much as possible.
• Avoid tea and coffee, which may increase the risk of DVT.

Remember – plane seats are narrow so you may be uncomfortable.

Where should I go on holiday?

If you choose to go abroad:

• Avoid destinations located over 2000 metres of altitude, especially during the three first months; your baby could lack oxygen.
• Avoid destinations where malaria or yellow fever is common
• Avoid countries with inadequate health services.

On your holiday

• Take a list of names and numbers of people who should be contacted in case of emergency.
• Keep a list handy of the local hospitals (you can get this from the local embassy, tourist board, or your hotel).
• Keep out of the sun at the hottest times of the day between 12pm and 3pm. Your skin is more sensitive during pregnancy, so wear a higher factor of sunscreen than you usually need.
• Avoid diving and water sports while pregnant.
• Take a copy of your notes and take them with you – they contain valuable information that will be needed by doctors, in case you go into premature labour.
• Know your blood group in case of an emergency.
• Check with your airline and insurance company that they will allow you to travel when pregnant. Some insurers will not cover pregnant women or will impose conditions which you need to be aware of. Different airlines have different rules, but after 24 weeks, the airline may request a letter from your GP stating your expected delivery date.

Immunizations and diseases

• Make sure your immunizations are up to date, some immunisations are not safe to receive if you are pregnant.
• Infectious diseases are serious not only for you but also for your unborn baby.
• Malaria is particularly serious, it is important to avoid infected areas. These include India, Africa and parts of South America, among others.
• Travel in hygienic conditions.
• Be very careful with all of your food and water.
• Never take  any unknown medication.

Local health services

• Choose a country where local health services are good.
• Avoid destinations where malaria is common.
• Avoid mosquito repellents containing DEET. (Look for a natural alternative such as citronella oil or use nets to protect yourself from mosquitoes.)

Other related articles
Tell me about driving and travelling by train when pregnant
Health and beauty in pregnancy – what should I avoid?
Exercising, sports and other activities while pregnant – what should I avoid and why?

I woke up at 6 in the morning 9 days after baby was due, with an achy period pain. I can’t really describe where the pain was, it was kind of between the top of my legs and bottom of my belly. After a minute or so it went. Half an hour later it returned. The same pattern carried on, I just thought I was achy. My partner said “You are in labour” I was sure I wasn’t. But he was right. The pain got slowly worse, and felt like my insides were tightening and loosening. You could tell when it was going to happen. It built up.

My waters hadn’t broken. So I thought I had ages to go. We started timing my contractions and they were 15  minutes apart. Very quickly they were 5 minutes though! It was 4 pm, I remember that well enough. My partner panicked a bit , it all seemed to be happening quickly now, he rang the hospital to see what we should do. The midwives told us to come down to the hospital.

My contractions were more intense, but still managable. I guess I was lucky.  They were getting quite painful now, and I really wanted to be in hospital. They were still a tightening and loosening feeling around my belly. As the tightening got more intense the pain did too.

The journey to hospital was horrible. Every bump in the road jolted me and hurt. I suppose the baby was very low down in my pelvis. They told us when we got to hospital I was 5 centimeters dilated and should have the baby very soon. They weren’t quite right. Baby wanted to stay put for a while. It wasn’t until lunchtime the next day that baby finally was born.

The contractions got very intense and were very tiring. I had gas and air which helped a lot. Around 11 am the next day, the contractions began to feel different. I wanted to push. I had no idea what I meant by that. I just had an urge to push. The midwives checked, yes I was fully dilated and ready!

The pain of the contractions was quite bad now, but I knew it would be over soon.

It would have been great if I had done this when I was pregnant – but no one really wants to see me as a beached whale! (or is that just how I felt). Watching this takes me back though.

• I remember not being able to get to sleep as I couldn’t get comfy.
• I remember being so tired I thought I would never be truely awake again.
• I remember being so excited. I couldn’t wait to meet our offspring  – and he hasn’t disappointed!

Looking back it would be nice to have more photos or videos of me when I was pregnant. No regrets though – and we have enough photos of the baby to cover every wall in the UK!

I wonder if there are things, like this video that other women wish they had done when they were pregnant…

The dramatic findings suggest that “mothers who were given ten times the usual dose of Vitamin D during pregnancy had their risk of premature birth reduced by half and had fewer small babies… No test showed any adverse effect of the large dose of vitamin D.” *

This is great news. If a simple vitamin can help boost the health of babies and prevent premature birth, surely every woman should be encouraged to take it.   

Vitamin D can be found in some foods, but it is mostly absorbed from sunshine. This means people living in cooler countries may not be getting enough. This includes the UK and parts of the US.

Vitamin D is found in foods such as oily fish, eggs and liver, and in fortified foods such as margarine, breakfast cereals and powdered milk. The levels in food alone are not enough.

Vitamin D has health benefits for other groups of people not just pregnant women. For example, Vitamin D deficiency is common and deficiency during pregnancy and childhood may increase the risk of a child developing Multiple Sclerosis.

* Times Online News article

“Sainsbury’s shopworker refuses to sell pregnant woman Cheddar cheese” *

But can you eat cheese when you are pregnant?  

The confusion seems to arise because there are so many different kinds of cheese and only some of them should be avoided when you are pregnant.

WHY?

Listeria can harm your unborn child. Some cheese, like soft cheeses and mould ripened cheeses are more prone than others to allow the growth of the listeria bacteria.  This is because they are moister and less acidic than other cheeses. Most healthy adults can fend off listeria infection. Pregnant women are more at risk. A pregnant woman herself is unlikely to be seriously harmed by listeriosis, but it could do serious harm to her unborn baby.

Can cheese be good in pregnancy?

Calcium and protein are essential in pregnancy and cheese is an important (and tasty) source of these. Some women report cheese cravings when they are pregnant. Is this because their bodies are craving this calcium and protein? The jury still seems to be out on this one!

Good Cheese and Bad Cheese

This is a list of which cheese pregnant women can eat without worrying and those which she should avoid. Of course every woman is different. If you ate cheese before you were pregnant, it makes sense that it will be OK once you are pregnant – if you follow the following:

Bad cheese in pregnancy

Mould ripened soft cheeses (like Brie, not like cream cheese or cottage cheese) Pasteurised or unpasteurised these type of cheeses should be avoided when pregnant

Including:

• Brie,
• Blue Brie,
• Cambozola,
• Camembert,
• Chaumes,
• Chèvre (goats cheese with a white rind),
• Pont L’Eveque,
• Taleggio,
• Vacherin-Fribourgeois

Blue veined cheese

Including:

• Blue Wensleydale,
• Cabreles,
• Danablu,
• Shropshire Blue,
• Danish Blue,
• Dolcelatte,
• Gorgonzola,
• Maytag blue cheese,
• Point Reyes blue,
• Roncal,
• Roquefort,
• Stilton,
• Tomme,
• Wensleydale (blue).

Soft, unpasteurised cheese,

• These include goat and sheep’s cheeses:

Good cheese in pregnancy

Hard cheese

Hard cheeses are generally considered safe to eat. The Food Standards Agency (www.eatwell.gov.uk) states that “listeria is present in very low numbers (less than 1 bacterium per gram of cheese) in these types of cheeses and they are therefore not considered a risk to health during pregnancy.”

This is an indication only – there are SO MANY HARD CHEESES! (in alphabetical order)

• Austrian smoked,
• Babybel,
• Caerphilly,
• Cheddar,
• Cheshire,
• Derby,
• Double Gloucester,
• Edam, Emmental,
• English goat’s cheddar,
• Feta, (in the UK, Feta is deemed safe to eat when pregnant, but in the US, pregnant women are advised to avoid it)
• Gouda,
• Gruyere,
• Halloumi,
• Havarti,
• Jarlsberg,
• Lancashire,
• Paneer,
• Parmesan,
• Red Leicester.

Soft and processed cheeses:

• boursin,
• cheese spread (also called processed cheese),
• cottage cheese,
• cream cheese,
• feta,
• goat’s cheese without a white rind,
• mascarpone,
• mozzarella,
• Philadelphia,
• Quark,
• ricotta.

Yoghurts

• all varieties including natural, flavoured and biologically active,
• probiotic drinks,
• fromage frais,
• soured cream
• crème fraîche

As with any other dairy food, keep it the fridge and eat it within the use by date.

What to Eat When You’re Pregnant: Including the A-Z of What’s Safe and What’s Not

Other related articles

What food and drink should I avoid when pregnant?

* The Sainsbury’s article: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1218197

Looking back, there are some things I would NEVER have got through pregnancy without…

1. A body pillow
Basically a pillow that was 5′ long. I would never have been able to sleep without it. I would sit my bump on it and cross my leg on top of it to get ‘comfy’.  We named it Rachel. This seemed to make it easier for hubby to sleep with ‘her’ every night!  

2. An oscillating, 3 speed, desk fan
It was a hot summer and I just couldn’t cool down. The fan was on 24/7 and followed me around the house.

3. My mum
She had ‘been there, done that’ and therefore was a comfort and a mine of information. (Some of which I ignored!)

4. The TV
Yes I watched so much daytime TV it dulled my brain. But it made kids TV seem so much more interesting!

5. A plentiful supply of chocolate
It was wierd. Chocolate normally went straight to all the wrong places but when I was pregnant I could eat LOADS of it. I think my baby was eating it with me, cos he loves the stuff now!

6. Supermarkets that delivered all my shopping and put it in the kitchen
This was just brilliant. No more lugging potatoes and juice cartons. Just wait for the van to arrive and unpack the chocolate!

7. Bigger clothes
Having said that by the end I was wearing my pyjama bottoms and nightie all the time. Fashion experts were  glad I didn’t leave the house.

8. A baby names book
It took 9 months to think of a shortlist of girls and boys names. We even tried randomly opening a page and picking the 1st name. We didn’t choose Happy Daffodil though – wonder why…

9. My midwife
She kept reassuring us that everything was OK. We were over anxious 1st time parents who worried about every hiccup and gurgle emminating from my tummy.

10. Last but by no means least. My partner
Because:

• He emptied the cat litter tray.
• He put the bins out.
• He cooked more meals than I care to remember.
• He put up with my grouchiness.
• He rubbed my back when it ached.
• He put my socks on my feet when I couldn’t reach them anymore.
• He got excited at every new stage of pregnancy.
• He got the food cravings and nesting instead of me.
• He read all the pregnancy books with me.
• He stayed with me throughout a very long labour.
• He became the best dad in the world.

If you and your partner need some ideas on birth and labour support have a look at the following: 

Association for the Improvement in Maternity Services (AIMS)

At the forefront of the childbirth movement for more than forty years.

• Working towards normal birth
• Providing independent support and information about maternity choices
• Raising awareness of current research on childbirth and related issues

Doula UK

• “Doula” (pronounced “doola”) is a Greek word meaning “woman servant or caregiver”. It now refers to an experienced woman who offers emotional and practical support to a woman (or couple) before, during and after childbirth.
• A doula believes in “mothering the mother” – enabling a woman to have the most satisfying and empowered time that she can during pregnancy, birth and the early days as a new mum. This type of support also helps the whole family to relax and enjoy the experience.

Home Birth Reference Site

• This site is not to persuade you to choose home birth. It’s not for everybody, but perhaps it’s right for your family. It provides information and opinions about home birth, for parents who think that it might be the right choice for them, and for health professionals looking for resources.

Association of Radical Midwives

• ARM are midwives, student midwives and others in the UK committed to improving the maternity care provided by the NHS. They strongly believe that all women have the right to a service tailored more closely to their needs, and a sympathetic attitude on the part of their professional attendants. They are primarily a support group for people having difficulty in getting or giving good, sympathetic, personalised midwifery care. A few of us are working independently outside the NHS, in order to offer a more woman-centred, one-to-one, style of practice, which at present is not widely available within NHS maternity services.

The National Childbirth Trust

• The NCT  helps over a million mums and dads each year through pregnancy, birth and early days of parenthood. They offer antenatal and postnatal courses, local support and reliable information to help all parents.

Other related articles

Do Dad’s need to pack a bag for hospital too?
Giving birth – what do I need to pack for hospital – A checklist