In between writing and recording her 5th album, Mel took time to share her experience of motherhood with me when she was launcing the Pampers event in Manchester.

Myself and 3yo arrived at the Trafford Centre where the event was being held and had a well earned drink (the Manchester traffic was horrible!) before heading down to the Pampers interactive play event. There were examples of social and physical play, exhibits for the youngsters to play with, and information for parents to take away.

Mel was so friendly and down-to-earth. She was brilliant with my 3yo and we would like to say a HUGE thank you to her for taking the time to speak to us. Thanks Mel.

The sound is quiet on the video, so turn up your speakers up or here is a transcript!

Jane: Hi Melanie, thanks very much for having a word with us today. I have a couple of questions to ask you. As you can see I have my little monkey with me round my neck and I know you have your little girl Scarlet…

Mel: And she’s a little monkey too!

Jane: And how old is she now?

Mel: She’s 17 months.

Jane: My first question relates to that and what is best bit of advice to a mum?

Mel: Something I learnt myself is that all kids are different and I started off reading all the books and they drove me nuts. I think you just have to find your own way and get to know your own child and I would say chuck the books and trust your own instinct.

Jane: Did you find you read everything when pregnant and as soon as the child was born you didn’t know what you were doing?

Mel:  Yes absolutely

Jane: My second question and it may be a bit premature because she is only young, but if you could go anywhere in  time  and space, anywhere in the world, anywhere in history to teach her something or show her something where would you go?

Mel: That’s a very good question.

Jane: It’s a toughie isn’t it!

Mel: Do you know whats gonna be a big thing for me I suppose, is when she is old enough is to tell her about the success of The Spice Girls. So it might be a little bit shallow, but for me if she was able to see her mummy at that time.

Jane: Fantastic, She will be really proud anyway.

Mel: I hope so, I have changed! (laughs)

Jane: No not at all, anyhow thank you very much for you time.

Mel: Thank you very much

Jane: Bye now.

Related Links:

Melanie’s website

Pampers website

In between writing and recording her 5th album, she will be sharing her experiences with the nation’s mums and dads alongside experts from every area of parenting and family wellbeing.

Melanie says: “I am delighted to be a part of the Pampers Village Parenting Panel. As a mum, I know how challenging it can be to juggle your career and look after your baby at the same time.  I’m glad I can also take part and share my own experience of being a mum to my little Scarlet.”

The Pampers World of Never-Ending Play, which is visiting mulitple locations over the next two months, has been created to provide simple and effective tips on play as a way to encourage baby development for mums and dads. It will give insights and tips on what parents can do to encourage growth and development in their little one at every stage of his life from newborn through to toddler. To help baby on his way and make sure he is dry and comfortable as he plays, Pampers has developed the next generation nappy: new Active Fit with DryMax, Pampers’ driest ever nappy, with 20% less bulk.

Melanie says, “It’s sometimes hard for parents to remember how to play like a baby but the Pampers World of Never-Ending Play helps remind us how fun it was to be a little one, and teaches us how to develop our children through games.”

The roadshow is made up of unique and exciting pods which see baby explore the seaside, park and home. It houses imaginative and creative activities spanning social play, physical play and problem-solving, helping little ones to learn every step of the way. The interactive activities will bring to life games such as peek-a-boo, as well as touch and feel activities with play objects.

Online Mum will be at the event in Manchester this weekend… watch this space…

Melanie’s website

Pampers website

This made me think, largely in horror. OK, I am not an Eastenders fan, but there must be better role models for Mum’s on TV than Bianca and her swarm of kids. I thought hard. I thought again… The OXO Mum (played by Lynda Bellingham) – how about her? OK, you have to be this side of 30 to remember the adverts, but surely no one is either like her or wants to be? Quintessentially middle class, providing yummy food for her stereotypical family…

The adverts ran for 16 years – thank goodness they have stopped!

There must be better…

There are so many mums on TV. Good, bad and downright ugly. My hero would be a Mum who copes with everything thrown at her. A woman who juggles life, work, family; and still has time for a social life and her man. I guess she would be most mum’s out there and not the charactures that appear on TV.

After thinking hard… my favourite Mums on TV:

Rachel Green in Friends.

Simply because she gets it wrong. Just like we all do. She loves her daughter, but she is terrified of motherhood, and what she should be doing.

Eileen Grimshaw from Coronation St

Doesn’t everyone want a mum like this? Laid back, sarcastic, funny, calls a spade a spade and at the end of the day, someone you can truly rely on.

Barbara Royle from the Royle Family

Scatter brained and hardworking, Barbara does everything for her lazy family. She loves her kids above anything else. She lives for her family, and doesn’t often see that she is exploited by their selfish ways.

Jackie Tyler from Doctor Who

Jackie is a single mum who adores her daughter Rose. As the Dr Who website says she’s “Always ready with a conga and a shepherd’s pie.” She is happy to threaten the Dr and do anything to keep her daughter safe. I guess you would if your child was off travelling the universe!

Marge Simpson of the Simpsons

Marge has the patience of a Saint! With chaos running wild all around her, she tries to keep the peace and morally on the straight and narrow. That is no short task with Bart and Homer around.  Totally stereotypical sitcom wife and mother, Marge puts up with a lot. She makes mistakes and has many flaws but and usually comes out smiling. I love Marge.

Who is your favourite TV Mum?

I don’t know where the chickens came from. There are 5 of them. They are friendly. They never need feeding or cleaning so they make ideal pets. You can find Planet Me Me the other side of the clouds and our cat lives there too. There are houses there but no cars… apparently.

His imagination is just wonderful. I saw him lying underneath his Cozy Coupe car the other day – like a mechanic does – mending and fixing. Apparently, the horn was too loud and needed fixing. A rendition of “Can we fix it? YES we can!” accompanied the car’s service. When it was all fixed I wasn’t allowed near the car. “Don’t break it Mummy!”

Back to the chickens. I really don’t know where they came from. They are always in the wardrobe; they never come out and never need anything. I hope they are not eating my clothes. To 3yo they are real, as are the big monkeys that sit in the corner of his room at night and are scary. He knows how to scare them away – scaring monkeys is easy!

He rings up Pingu on the telephone all the time. He tells him everything that has happened in his day, and then invites him round for tea. I have to let him in though the front door, but his friend Robby can squeeze though the letterbox.

Pingu’s whole family comes to visit sometimes. He cooks for them in his cafe. 3yo’s cafe is great. It sells all kinds of food and drink. But you can only be served if you are Pingu or a member of his extended family. I once got a cup of tea, but I think it was by accident.

He seems to live in a magical world that is full of truly amazing things. I hope this stays with him as long as possible. When the real world dawns on him he will realise that sometimes life really is unfair and cruel. I want Planet Me Me and chickens in the cupboard to be in his life for a long time to come.

Does your child live on another Planet and do you sometimes wish you could go there too?

So funny, so true. 24 hours in the life of  a mum. How many of these phrases do YOU say? (Me? Most of them!)

Anita Renfroe wrote the song, here are the lyrics:
Get up now
Get up now
Get up out of bed
Wash your face
Brush your teeth
Comb your sleepy head
Here’s your clothes
And your shoes
Hear the words I said
Get up now
Get up and make your bed
Are you hot?
Are you cold?
Are you wearing that?
Where’s your books and your lunch and your homework at?
Grab your coat and your gloves and your scarf and hat
Don’t forget you gotta feed the cat
Eat your breakfast
The experts tell us it’s the most important meal of all
Take your vitamins so you will grow up one day to be big and tall
Please remember the orthodon’tist will be seeing you at three today?
Don’t forget your piano lesson is this afternoon
So you must play
Don’t shovel
Chew slowly
But hurry
The bus is here
Be careful
Come back here
Did you wash behind your ears?
Play outside
Don’t play rough
Would you just play fair?
Be polite
Make a friend
Don’t forget to share
Work it out
Wait your turn
Never take a dare
Get along
Don’t make me come down there
Clean your room
Fold your clothes
Put your stuff away
Make your bed
Do it now
Do we have all day?
Were you born in a barn?
Would you like some hay
Can you even hear a word I say?
Answer the phone
Get Off the phone
Don’t sit so close
Turn it down
No texting at the table
No more computer time tonight
Your iPod’s my iPod if you don’t listen up
Where you going and with whom and what time do you think you’re coming home?
Saying thank you, please, excuse me
Makes you welcome everywhere you roam
You’ll appreciate my wisdom
Someday when you’re older and you’re grown
Can’t wait ’til you have a couple little children of your own
You’ll thank me for the counsel I gave you so willingly
But right now
I thank you NOT to roll your eyes at me
Close your mouth when you chew
Would appreciate
Take a bite
Maybe two
Of the stuff you hate
Use your fork
Do not you burp
Or I’ll set you straight
Eat the food I put upon your plate
Get an A, Get the door
Don’t get smart with me
Get a Grip
Get in here I’ll count to 3
Get a job
Get a life
Get a PhD
Get a dose of…
I don’t care who started it
You’re grounded until your 36
Get your story straight
And tell the truth for once for heaven’s sake
And if all your friends jumped off a cliff
Would you jump too?
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said at least a thousand times before that
You’re too old to act this way
It must be your father’s DNA
Look at me when I am talking
Stand up straight when you walk
A place for everything
And everything must be in place
Stop crying or I’ll give you something real to cry about
Oh!
Brush your teeth
Wash your face
Get your PJs on
Get in bed
Get a hug
Say a prayer with Mom
Don’t forget
I love you
**KISS**
And tomorrow we will do this all again because a mom’s work never ends
You don’t need the reason why
Because
I said so
I’m the Mom
The mom

These are his favourites:

• But I’m JUST….looking (meaning being nosey)
• But I’m JUST… checking (meaning being nosey)
• I NEED a hug/cuddle (I ALWAYS fall for this one, as it sounds so cute, but he just wants to be picked up and carried)
• I’ve hurt my legs on the floor (Also his way of getting carried)
• I don’t like it (he seems to think just not liking something is good enough reason not to do it. The trouble is many adults still use this excuse. 3yo applies it to drink/food/toys/nursery/stories – erm, well everything get’s it’s turn with “I don’t like it!)

Excuses for not going to bed

• It’s not bedtme yet (he applies this from the mere suggestion that it is bedtime, until he falls asleep; this can be minutes or hours)
  
• It’s NEARLY bedtime (can 3yo tell the time better than me?)
  
• It’s not dark yet (how do you explain light summer nights to a toddler?)
  
• There are no stars yet (ditto)
  
• I don’t like pyjamas (yes, I’ve tried suggesting he goes to bed in other things instead)
  
• I don’t need pyjamas (ditto)
  
• That’s not my bed cos Teddy is in it (this one stumps me)
  

Special excuses that he just HAS to get out of bed for:

• I need a wee/poo (acceptable excuse, well, it is for the 1st 3 times in 1 night)
• Teddy has done a poo (I never really know whether to humour this one or ignore it, at 3 in the morning it is definately the latter)
• Pingu has pooed on the floor (Fictional TV characters generally don’t deficate on children’s bedroom floors)
• I need water/milk (acceptable excuse but it invariably leads on to the 1st excuses in this section)
  
• I am still hungry, I am only full up to my knees! (3yo thinks if he is not ‘full up to his head’ at all times he will explode. I guess breakfast time can be a long way off, but I still say midnight snacks are not a good idea)
  

There is a section in the back of his Excuse Manual, dedicated to negotiation tactics. It generally teaches toddlers to raise the stakes if too few treats are offered:

Me: You can have 2 jelly babies
3yo: I need 3 (and he  means handfuls not actual sweets, not that he gets away with that!)

I suppose I should be glad that he can count!

This section also reminds them to work one parent off against the other:

3yo: Daddy lets me do that!

This excuse relates to ANYTHING that I say no to, and vise versa.

The advanced section suggests he uses people who I can’t immediately check with. ‘I do that at Grandma’s.’

I really want to consficate his Excuse Manual, but I don’t know where he has hidden it. I think it is in the same place that odd socks go.

This got me thinking. From 3 to 11, he will be wearing the same jumper to school. Well, not the same one, he will have to move up sizes. But it will look the same. He has no choice about this, he has to wear school uniform. I am undecided on whether this is a good idea though.

Pros of school uniform.

Makes it easier for mums.
There is no arguing about what to wear for school.

Stops the rivalry between kids.
Other children can’t make one kid feel bad for not wearing the latest brand – no one is allowed to wear them.

Cost.
Parts of school uniform can be very cheap. £2 for 2 polo shirts in ASDA -you can’t really complain about that! Trendy labels can be an expensive alternative, but at primary school will this be an issue?

Learning.
Some experts think that wearing a uniform in school sets the right tone for learning. This means kids learn better and their behaviour is better.

Cons of school uniform.

My child wants to be different and not follow the crowd. I see this as avery good thing. I don’t want him to just be a pea in a pod. (Having said that I am quite happy for him to express his individuality outside of school time).

School uniforms that you have to buy from the school with their emblem on can be VERY expensive.

Are children at primary and nursery schools too young to start  wearing school uniform? I’m still not sure. Based on this morning’s experience of 3yo crying all the way to school, I am thinking it is.

Update

Day 2 of  ‘The Jumper of the Wrong Shade of Green’.

3yo now loves his jumper and won’t wear anything else.

I can’t win.

1. spell correctly.
2. have correct English and Grammar.
3. realise my site catches spam and just not bother.

I spend a lot of time deleting spam, however – this one caught my eye. It is so bad it is funny. It is worth publishing (without it’s links to strange and useless sites). 

Greetings. 1st I desire to say that I actually like your weblog, just observed it last week but I have been following it since then.

I seem to acknowledge with most of your thinkings and beliefs and this submit is no exception. absolutely agree with you.

Thank you for the good blog and I hope you preserve up the very good perform. If you do I will keep on to look over it.

Have a fantastic evening.

I still laugh when I read that one.  Sorry for not publishing it Mr Spammer, but I hope this post totally devoted to you makes up for it! Even if  I am not linking to your product!

These are some of the things I have noticed:

Selfishness
I no longer want to blow out the candles on MY birthday cake. The joy on his face is a much better birthday gift than the wish I would make blowing out too many candles.

I no longer want to eagerly unwrap my presents. In fact I no longer even want presents. Just get something for my offspring. I don’t need anything. In fact I never feel the need for any material things now.

I always put my child 1st and last. Of course this is not necessarily a good thing. Ask Hubby, or ask anyone who says I need a break.

Mellow but angst
Nothing phases me, but I worry about everything. I don’t want to pass on my fears. So horses, plants, spiders (in fact any creepy crawly) have to be talked to and dare I even say it – despite my heart rate reaching critical – touched!  I become a swan or a duck swimming about looking all serene, but paddling wildly underneath the surface. Am I winning this battle?  Time will tell!

Sleep
When he is not here I sleep so well. When he is here, a pin could drop and I can hear it, let alone the cries from his room of “Mummy, come quick, Teddy’s done a poo!”

Squeamishness is no more.
Sick, poo, blood. None of it even phases me, as long as it is his and not someone elses! Super Mummy comes out and deals with the situation and thinks about it later. Becoming a nurse would be another matter entirely. Then it would be entirely different blood and vomit and poo, and much more gross.

Mummy brain takes over.
When he is not here I absentmindedly watch CBeebies, or scan though photos of him on my PC, or talk incessantly about him (without even realising it) yet when he is attached to my leg Shouting “My Mummy My Mummy” I wish he was always the gold-as-gold angel I have in my head.

Priorities change
That parachute jump that I always wanted to do, just doesn’t seem important anymore. I don’t take risks. Someone is depending on me for everything. I can’t be late for school pick up. I can’t drive too fast. A nice safe car is so much better than something that looks good and drives fast. A trip to Pontins seems attractive, because he would enjoy it. It doesn’t matter that in a previous lifetime I would hate every moment. Now his joy is my joy.

Things my parents said to me that I vowed I would never say to my child
Because I said so!
Because I am older!
Because I am your Mum!
You can’t always have what you want!
Eat your dinner, or you get no pudding!
I’ll tell your Dad!

Yes I have said them all. I never thought I would.

This quote seems to sum it all up perfectly, I don’t know who’s it is but it is beautiful and so true:

“A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for.”

In what ways has being a parent changed you?

It is probably impossible for children today to imagine only 3 TV channels and no kids TV on a Sunday. Black Beauty was the best Sunday TV had to offer in my day.

Before my baby was born, I was looking forward to the joys of CBeebies. I think I may have been crazy. Yes some of the programmes are brilliant, but when you have seen the same one 3 times in one day, you start to go slightly bonkers. I will admit some programmes I could watch endlessly. Timmy Time and Pingu are my favourites. Luckily for me, they are favourites of 3yo too! It is slightly disturbing though that he has a fondness for Waybuloo. Just what is that show about? I just don’t get it. Maybe you have to be under 5 to appreciate these things. I hate the dubbed voices, I hate the freaky floating creatures. I hate the fact that pretty much nothing happens.

I like kids TV programmes to be fun, bright and educational. Justin Fletcher seems to get it right. Mr Tumble is genius, Gigglebiz IS funny, Something Special teaches us sign language in a way that I and 3yo actually remember. I love the shows that give me ideas for what I can do with 3yo. I Can Cook – Katy cooks things that are healthy and fun to make. Kids cooking doesn’t have to be just Crispie Crackles. Mister Maker and Doodle Do have fun arts and crafts ideas that keep me and 3yo entertained. (Maybe they just keep the inner Blue Peter presenter in me satisfied.)

It is easy to let CBeebies become your babysitter though. The off button on the TV is hard to press, even when you are going nuts at the thought of watching Balamory AGAIN! Some experts say that you shouldn’t let your young child watch TV. Some say limit it. I agree that if your child is doing something else, don’t have it on in the background. It is a distraction that doesn’t help young minds concentrate on something else, and let’s face it, it can send mum potty! The CBeebies babysitter is useful when you are busy. It has it’s drawbacks though. The songs and theme tunes wafting in from the living room to the kitchen while you are making dinner, can have the effect of getting inside your head for hours. Anyone been humming the tune to Timmy Time – ALL THE TIME?

What do you think is the best and worst of kids TV?